


Truths and Lies

by Sermocinare



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Character Study, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-13
Updated: 2014-04-13
Packaged: 2018-01-19 05:56:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1458433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sermocinare/pseuds/Sermocinare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Billy's spur of the moment lie brings about a much more surprising truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Truths and Lies

**Author's Note:**

> Set right at the end of Episode V.

Sometimes you believe a lie simply because of who told it, or because you want it to be true even though some part of you knows better. 

When Billy had told him that no one had ever died on their first time over the side, Dufresne had known that those words were probably untrue, but his survival instinct had taken over and locked that knowledge away until a later time, a time when he was not faced with the very real prospect of a painful death. It's why he is here now, staring at rows of words and numbers while his skin starts to itch underneath the drying blood, trying his best to push away everything that had happened. He doesn't want to have to deal with that now, he's got more important things to do than wonder what exactly had snapped and turned him into someone actually capable of chewing a man's throat out like a shark. 

His mind might have a few cracks right now, but at least his glasses have survived the ordeal without so much as a scratch. Dufresne can't help but smile wryly to himself. Two miracles in one day. God must really like him, even though he can't for the life of him come up with a reason as to why. 

“There you are.”

He hasn't even noticed Billy entering the cabin, but he's not even startled by the voice behind him. He probably doesn't have anything left to be startled with, all of his fear and nerves having been used up during the battle.

“Been looking all over for you.”

Maybe Dufresne has got a little bit left after all, because the small note of worry in Billy's voice gives him pause, makes his heart clench. The struggle to take control of the Andromache is still far from over. He can hear that by the noises drifting down from above deck, with orders being shouted and everyone running around, but Billy still has taken the time to look in on him. To look for him. 

“I thought I'd get a head start going through Bryson's papers.”

It's a lie, but then again, he can hardly say that he is down here because he needed to get away from everyone and everything, because he is shaking, because his insides are filled with liquid ice and all he wants to do is scream. It's one thing to be afraid at the start of a battle, but Dufresne suspects that most people wouldn't understand why he's just as afraid now that it's over. It's something he doesn't want anyone to know right now. Not even Billy. He's got to sort some things out by himself first.

Billy doesn't move, just sits there on the table, picking through some papers just so that he's got something to do with his hands. Dufresne lets his eyes dart over to where the other man is sitting, then looks back at the papers spread out in front of him. 

“Jameson.”

For a moment, it seems as if he's caught Billy off guard, so he explains, carefully watching Billy's expression out of the corners of his eyes. He's not making an accusation, but he has to know why. He has to know if Billy's lie had been born out of carelessness and annoyance, or if it had been for exactly the opposite reason. If Billy had lied because he cared. 

For a moment, Billy's expression stays completely, painstakingly neutral, and that's already the best hint because normally, Billy is absolutely incapable of that kind of thing. Billy's face is an open book to anyone who cares to read it. Then, as he rattles off a list of names, a smile creeps over Billy's features, like the sun creeping over the horizon at the end of a long night. It's all Dufresne can do to keep himself from breaking into a huge grin in response.

Instead, he looks at Billy with a small smile: “Thank you. For doing that. It helped.”

Although helped is really the understatement of the century. It saved his life. Billy's lie, the fact that Billy cared enough to tell that lie even though he didn't have to, is what kept Dufresne from getting killed the moment he went over the side. It gave him something to cling to. A small hope, and a burning desire to stay alive, for himself and for Billy, because Billy had said that he would, and Dufresne didn't want Billy to have been wrong about that. He had needed to survive, for Billy.

It is that realization that shifts everything around, like twisting a spyglass to bring it into focus. 

“Billy. Wait.”

Billy stops in his tracks and turns around, shoving whatever it is that he's holding into his shirt. 

Hands shaking a little, Dufresne gets out of his chair, and for a moment he feels just as nervous as he had when crouching behind the Walrus' side. But he survived that, and now he needs to do this because at some point, the lies have got to stop, and that particular one has been around for long enough now. 

Before he can lose his courage again, Dufresne closes the distance between them, grabs Billy's shoulders, and cranes up to kiss him. It's not a romantic kiss, but rather desperate and needy, and when Dufresne pulls back his lips stick a bit because there's still blood on them. 

For a moment, it seems like even the ship doesn't dare move. Dufresne is holding his breath and only dares to exhale again when Billy's look of utter confusion slowly melts into something else, into one of those sunny smiles Dufresne just can't get enough of. 

“Well, damn, if I'd known that's what it takes, I would've dragged you over the side a lot earlier.”

Dufresne is sure he's never felt better and more alive than right now, and joins into Billy's laughter which is only cut short when Billy pulls him in to press a kiss first to the top of his head and then to his lips.

–

“William “Bones” Manderly”

Dufresne's voice only shakes a little, and he watches the sword sink down into the ocean. For a moment, it feels as if his heart is sinking down with it, crushed by the cold and dark waters.

–

_“We could forgive all of it. But not Billy.”_


End file.
